TruthBunny

a little insight can be dangerous

Rejection

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One day
possibly tomorrow…
The echo of cruel laughter, of rejection and ridicule,
The voices of critics with unsolicited advice, good intentions and practical wisdom,
The memory of failed attempts,
will begin to dissolve
and only fragments of past discouragement will remain to taunt my soul
It takes seconds to utter a careless comment,
But it takes years to understand the affect
Words are only as important as I allow them to be
I give them strength and credence.

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the Sad Truth(bunny)

“the worst thing about being lied to is knowing you’re not worth the truth”  – anonymous

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Struggle

How do you live if you’re ruled by your past …
But how do you let go of a past that made you?

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Everything

Image

Photo by Joseph H. Davis

Youth inspires curiosity

Curiosity allows pain

Pain causes doubt

Fear seeps in

But explanations are given and all is well again

I decide I’ve seen it all

…. I think I know everything

New feelings inspire growth

New bonds are formed, desired and detested,

lessons are learned

New connections made where none existed

I apply this knowledge, all is well again

I am now an intellectual on life

I think I’ve felt it all

… I’m sure I know everything

A few years inspire caution

Tread lightly – Yeah, I’ve done this before (haven’t I?)

False confidence helps for now…

I’m cunning, I’m resourceful and all is well again

I’m positive I’ve done it all

… Trust me, I know everything

It’s early fall now and I feel it in my soul

I’ve learned and re-learned the same lesson now

And yet, new lessons still come daily

I’m beginning to think they always will

I find comfort where there were questions

Thank God, I don’t know everything

… I only know me.

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Mirror

Reflection at Joe Pool Lake - Dallas

Photo by Joseph H. Davis

Recently, my thought process wanders aimlessly in, out and around my insecurities. My stressed psyche consumes my quiet mind and slowly unfolds on paper as a collection of random thoughts or sometimes, when I’m lucky, a poem. I find myself seeking solace in the words that flow from my pen just to get them out of my cluttered brain. It feels as if my pen cannot move fast enough to eject these thoughts from my soul.

I am both guarded and precarious (poor judgment has been the deciding factor for which avenue I choose to take at each moment.) I am overly cautious about most monetary and professional decisions but have been entirely too risky in matters of the heart and how I choose to expose mine.

Although my past seems to lend itself to hiding behind some facade, I realized that I cannot bring myself to hide anymore. I have to ‘go for it’ and face the risk each time because the reward seems to compensate for the potential pain.

Both pain and impending salvation is what I see in my mirror today.

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Hard to Find

How does a good woman remain good in a jaded world?

She makes decisions that she can live with even if the outcome is a lonely path,

She keeps her thoughts pure and her words true,

She learns from her mistakes
(even if it takes a few too many tries..)

She understands  living under that standard never guarantees the kindness of others but is not embittered by their cruelty,

And, most of all, she cherishes her life for the gifts it provides ~ even when those gifts are cleverly disguised as challenges.

She never gives up.

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If

Sunrise in Dallas

Photo by Joseph H. Davis

…I trusted my instincts
…I accepted the challenge
…I saw what others saw in me
…I didn’t say “I do”
…I said yes to a baby
…I said no to seduction
…I didn’t break his heart
…I voiced my true fears
…I found confidence earlier
…I abandoned false hopes
…I avoided the ego boost
…I accepted the promotion
…I rejected the ridicule
…I said I love you once more
…I wasn’t so emotional
…I said yes to a second date
…I cried less, laughed more
…I hugged my sister more
…I was a better friend
…I walked my dog more often
…I took more pictures
…I was more practical
…I was less passionate

…I find some clarity
…I can accept failure
…I take my own advice
…I let them go
…I hold on too long
…I take the wrong risk
…I learn patience
…I make new memories
…I dance when asked
…I sleep as much as I dream

Live with your choices
Remember that all of them started with …
If.

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Give Thanks

Cedar Hill TX

Photo by Joseph H. Davis

Luck, love, fame and fortune
quite a fickle group,

Weaving in and out of life at random
always throw me for a loop.
Fortunately I stay grounded
I know I’m truly blessed,
Family and REAL friends remind me that
I’m always at my best.

Happy Thanksgiving.

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The Tide

The TX coast

Photo by Joseph H. Davis

Standing on the shore
I let the foamy water gently kiss the tips of my toes
I am motionless and my soles feel heavy and weighted down in the cool, gritty surface below,
I become aware of how expertly the sand molds itself under every curve and crevice of my firmly planted feet as if that’s exactly where I’m supposed to be.

The water now rushes past me and envelopes my ankles,
As if it’s trying to persuade my body to follow the tide.
Why can’t I move on, all I need to do is take
one …small … step …

I’ve made an impression here,
If I move now, the water will quickly fill the sand that hugged my soles as if I was never there..
As if I had no effect…
As if I didn’t exist.

The ebb and flow gain momentum and the waves gently surround my calves
If I remain here, I must accept the tide as a comforting friend…
Surrounding me completely,
trusting the inconsistent undulations,
swirling and flowing about me,
Simultaneously confusing and captivating.

Suddenly and unexpectedly,
I am overcome with the warm embrace of peace that can only come from a sound decision and a healthy heart.

I begin to understand.

I am not supposed to stay..
my footprints on this shore are intended to fade with the flowing current.

The tide does not wash them away as much as carry them on to another shore.

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No sleep

Moonlight

I can feel the dawn seeping through the blinds onto my face
as the growing light gently tapped upon my closed eyelids.
I don’t have to look to know it’s creeping slowly
Upon me like an unwanted guest or
a requisite obligation that I cannot ignore.
Why can’t it wait just a little longer…
Only for a few more hours…
I’ll feel like this sleeplessness is worth the pain.
It’s okay .. I reason
Everyone does it … I justify
It builds character.. I lie.
It doesn’t matter really.
I tell myself that I can make it up tomorrow..
It is tomorrow.
Then I remember, I could’ve let it go,
That it really would have waited for me.. It always will
As long as I allow it.

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